Bella Hadid is looking back on a painful part of her past.

During the latest episode of the VS Voices podcast, the 25-year-old runway model opened up about her personal experiences with those she said abused her in the past. Before recalling the specific instances, Hadid explained how her adolescence affected her relationships in adulthood.

“I always felt like my voice was never heard growing up,” Hadid said. “I grew up around men—whether that was in relationships or family or whatever that was—where I was constantly told that my voice was less important than their voice.”

“Then moving into relationships growing up, not having the boundaries of being able to stick up for myself and have my voice being heard, affected me in my adult relationships very intensely actually, where my nervous system would crash,” she continued. “It was like fight or flight; either I would become silent and cry and just go inward, or I would lash out and leave.”

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