Cheslie Kryst‘s mom is reflecting on her daughter’s life just days after she died at 30 years old.

In a statement to E! News, April Simpkins addressed the former Miss USA’s mental health after learning her death had been ruled a suicide.

“While it may be hard to believe, it’s true,” April said. “Cheslie led both a public and a private life. In her private life, she was dealing with high-functioning depression which she hid from everyone—including me, her closest confidant—until very shortly before her death.”  

“I have never known a pain as deep as this,” she continued. “I am forever changed.”

Over the weekend, an NYPD spokesperson confirmed to E! News that the beauty queen, lawyer, fashion blogger and Extra TV correspondent fell from a “higher elevation” of a 60-story condominium in New York City just after 7 a.m. on Jan. 30 and was pronounced dead at the scene.

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