I made choices where I continued to date the same “type,” even though those types tended to not be a good fit for me. I let things slide when I shouldn’t have and didn’t pay close enough attention to early warning signs. The closure comes from knowing that the relationship was not right for either one of us for different reasons. And although I wouldn’t have ever handled the breakup in the way he did, I would have wasted a lot of time trying to fix something that was irreparably broken if we’d stayed together.
Did I learn from my mistakes after Justin? Well, when it comes to love I’m still a work in progress. I did fall for another love bomber not long after my divorce, and we were quickly heading toward real commitment. He was a tall dancer, and he started off as this amazing, positive, generous guy. I took him home for Christmas to meet my family. After the honeymoon phase, though, things took a turn. This time, instead of making excuses for his behavior, I actually opened my eyes, pushed past the smoke and mirrors, and saw the truth. I’d gotten stronger, and as soon as I realized how deep his apparent lies went, I was the one who ended it. While it hurt, I was able to put it all behind me quickly. Before him, after a breakup I usually couldn’t eat or sleep, but this time was much different. I took care of myself, I kept busy, and I felt strong knowing that I’d done the right thing for me. Instead of feeling sorry for myself after we broke up, I felt empowered.